6 Unapologetic, Off-The-Wall Phrases To Use Instead Of ‘Sorry, I Feel Dizzy.’

Are you losing your sense of balance? Is your head beginning to ache? Do you feel like you’re becoming a ship in a storm – even though your eyes are telling you that there’s no gale (or ocean) in sight? Give me a minute... Vertigo can rear its head at any time, however inopportune the moment. Sometimes, when it hits, you’ll be in the presence of others. On a crowded train, maybe. In a meeting with your boss. Or out at a bar with your friends. At those times, some of the people around you will have an idea of what you’re going through. They might be fellow vertigo sufferers. Or the contacts you’ve briefed to step in when the room starts spinning. Others won’t have a clue what’s going on, and risk being both baffled and totally useless. Either way, resist the urge to take on the role of the world’s most reluctant party pooper. It’s not your choice to have vertigo – which means you’re well within your rights to be entirely unapologetic. When vertigo comes on you have the perfect excuse to look after number one. To prioritize yourself and do what you need to do to feel better. Don’t say, ‘Sorry, I feel dizzy.’ Say: ‘I’m having an attack of vertigo – and this is how you can help…’ And if that doesn’t attract the kind of attention you need, or if your companions still don’t get the message, these 6 off-the-wall phrases might tickle your fancy. 1. ‘There is an earthquake in my brain. In a few minutes, it’ll be about a level 7 on the Richter scale. Be a dear and rescue me by letting me sit down.’ 2. ‘You know how that looks like a normal lightbulb to you? Right now I’d describe it as relentlessly blazing into my mind like Titan’s fiery wheel. I’d be glad if you could switch it off while I gather myself together.’ 3. ‘Newsflash: I need a spacious, horizontal surface ASAP to stop the room spinning around me. This is NOT a drill, FYI. And it’s also not a pick-up line.’ 4. ‘Water first. Questions later. Trust me.’ 5. ‘Don’t take it personally, but if you continue to talk instead of help I’ll probably puke on your shoes.’ 6. ‘I’m much better company when I don’t feel like James Stewart in a bell tower. But, for now, ding dong.’ For more information on Vertigo, click here.