10 GENUINE Bonkers Baby Names From Birth Certificates That You’d Like To Try Out On Your Baby, Just For A Day.

There are so many decisions involved in giving birth. Where you’ll go, who’ll help, what you’ll pack, how you’ll do it. Then once labour’s done, exactly when you’re ready to take a break, it’s time to make the baby name you’ve been considering fully official. No pressure. It’s only what people will call your child for the rest of their lives and beyond. At home, school, work. On their coffee cup. Everywhere. You want to make it meaningful. Yours. So you’ve googled the heck out of all the options. Picked one for a day, then ditched it the next. Scoured through articles and address books. Now you’ve got one – but are you totally sure it’s right? If not, here’s some left-field options… Give them a go. You’ve got this. Read on for our top 10, bonkers baby names:

1. Cappuccino.

Destined for adulthood full of ‘dark and steamy’ chat-up lines. Pair with a sibling called Biscuit and life will be complete.

2. Crystal Shanda.

This one only works if your surname’s Lear (geddit?) – following the real-life example of Bill Lear, founder of the Lear Jet Corporation. Oh, and in case you were wondering: yes, he had three sons. No, none of them were called King.

3. Dorcas.

The one, the only. This a-dorc-able name is Biblical in origin (she’s a disciple from Acts of the Apostles). Popular in days of yore, it now tends to cause a few issues in the playground. Here’s hoping it comes back around again soon.

4. Dovahkiin.

Sticking with the d-names for a minute, this name is straight from the video game Skyrim (supposedly meaning ‘dragon-born’ in one of its made-up languages). Baby D’kin gets free video games for life in exchange for sporting Skyrim branding on his birth certificate. The lucky little so-and-so.

5. Number 16 Bus Shelter.

So much better than numbers 15 and 17. This particular baby name was, in fact, rejected by the New Zealand authorities. Goodness knows why.

6. Superman.

Who could possibly object to such a heroic baby name? Sweden, apparently, who refused to allow a mother to use the equivalent Swedish version (Staalman) for her child in 2004.

7. Tesla.

Picked for 11 boys and 130 girls in 2017. But is it a weirder choice than Elon? We’re still not sure.

8. Unique.

According to the US Social Security Administration’s list, at one point there were at least 24 Uniques registered in America. Let’s hope they never meet in one place, or the fabric of space-time will probably explode.

9 and 10. Winner (and Loser).

Careful choosing your preference: a piece by the guys behind Freakonomics followed two brothers who were given these names at birth. Loser became an NYPD detective. Winner, on the other hand, embarked on a life of crime. Something for new parents thinking of ‘Harmony’ to consider... Just saying. There are so many decisions involved in giving birth. For some slightly more sensible baby names, click here And check out some more pregnancy related articles and fight nausea with us.