The 6 Best Elaborate Excuses For Why You’re Currently Sitting Down With Your Head Between Your Legs - Bad Excuses for the Nauseous.
We’ve all been there: You start to feel supremely hot and bothered, nauseous, light-headed, honing in on the nearest chair, clamping your dizzy head between your thighs. It may not be the most elegant of positions. And you may feel just a little bit self-conscious.
But, heck, since you’re there - make sure you own it. Check out these really elaborate bad excuses for the nauseous: · You’re a super-fly guy with dollars – and names – to drop:
‘I think my Rolex fell out somewhere around here. It's no biggy, though. Jay Z
brings me a new one each time he comes to stay.’ · You’re the sovereign of self-improvement. The journey never stops:
‘This stretch is known as the folding chakra
. Give me 5 more minutes and my life force and aura will be glowing.’ · You’re an expert on biodynamics – and keen to spread the word:
‘Few people realize that their own thighs are the sturdiest and softest of Nature’s pillows. There truly is no substitute in the world. Try it for yourself later and feel the results.’ · You’re in business. Time. Is. Money:
‘I’ll have you know I’m surveying this piece of micro-land with a view to making a significant financial investment. Please be advised that if this sale goes through you’ll be trespassing.’ · You’re one pose away from securing a pavilion at the Venice Bienniale:
‘I call this piece: extreme introspection. Leave your donation by my feet, thanks very much.’ · You’re an up-and-coming David Attenborough out in your field:
‘I doubt you’ll be able to see them, but a hugely important colony of Wisconsonian wonder-ants is living here. Tread lightly, please. We are filming.’ Did we make you laugh? Join our fight against motion sickness and nausea.